![]() |
|
Spaces home Girl's spaceProfileFriendsBlogMore ![]() | ![]() |
Girl's space |
||||||
|
This friends list is empty. |
December 24 Dating Safety: Online Dating Tips for Keeping SafeThe best way to stay safe when meeting new people is to ensure your anonymity. There many services out there that allow Internet savvy individuals to find you via your email, phone, or address. Here are 10 online dating tips to keep you safe so that you have a sucessful online dating experience.
Stay Anonymous.
Never, ever, post your real information in your profile. Be honest about yourself, but keep personal information private. Once you feel comfortable with a person, then you can share personal information, but putting personal information in your profile puts your safety at risk. Get a Free Email Address. There are several free services out there, including Hotmail, Yahoo! Mail, or Google's G-mail. Before starting the online dating process, sign up for a new email address from one of these services that you use only for online dating. Never, ever, use an address that reveals anything about yourself. Keep the email address random and void of any personal information including your name, age, date of birth, physical location, etc. Do Not Reveal Your Location. Do not share your real name, home address, or phone number with a person until you are completely comfortable in doing so. Communicate via email in the beginning until you feel comfortable enough to move on to other forms of communication. Generally it's safest to move from email to telephone before meeting a date in person. Get a P.O. Box and/or Unlisted Phone Number. It may sound extreme, but your safety is of utmost importance. Using a P.O. Box is more useful than you think if a potential mate is sending you photos, letters, cards, or gifts in the mail. A P.O. Box allows you to keep your home address private. An unlisted number is more of a precaution for This will protect your home address until you are ready to share it with a date. Steer Clear of Sexy. Do not use a 'sexy' username. When using sexual connotations in your username or email, you'll get noticed, but not necessarily by the right crowd. Don't lie. Honesty is the best relationship tool and lying can end relationships before they even have a chance to start. Let them get to know the real you through your profile ad, but that doesn't include giving out your private information. You may be somewhat aprehensive about using a photo, but using a photo is safe as long as you keep your other information out of your profile. Trust your gut. If you feel unsure, threatened, or uncomfortable, DO NOT respond to any further communication. You know when you feel uncomfortable. If you feel that way when talking to a person at the beginning, it's not going to change and you may be putting yourself further in danger. Beware of red flags. Watch out for obvious 'red flags' when talking to people that you have met through online dating. If they are acting suspcicious, they probably are not who they say they are. Use common sense and you'll be safe. Use your block list. If you are uncomfortable with any email or IM messages from a member of the dating services, use your block list to keep them from contacting you again in the future. Report Them. If you come across any members that are mis-representing themselves or misusing the service, report them. These include married people posing as singles or minors, members that send harrasing or offensive emails, criminals or 'shady' members, members behaving inappropriately, asking for money or donations, or those sending sales and spam messages. Dating Safety: Online Dating Red FlagsThe most important thing to remember in online dating safety is to trust your gut. You know when you feel unsure, uncomfortable or threatened. The key is to remove yourself from these situations before they have a chance to escalate into something more serious. Here are 10 red flags to watch out for when using online dating sites.
Trust your gut.
This is the #1 thing to remember. Your gut will tell you when something is not quite right. Trust it and move on to a potential date where things feel right. When you feel that something isn't quite right, that usually is the case. Calling at odd hours. If a person only calls you at odd hours of the day, they're either hiding something or not really single. Hushed tones and sudden hang-ups. If you call a date and they speak in hushed tones or have a tendency to end calls suddenly, be wary. These are both signs that they are most likely not as single as they claimed to be in their profile ad. Background checks. If the dating service you are using does not automatically require them, don't forget that you CAN ask your date to submit to one. Do your own research. Use the search engines to your advantage. You can also use the "people search" services. Speaking Vaguely. If they always speak vaguely about themselves and never really reveal details, then it's time to move on to someone who does. They answer questions with other questions. If they don't answer your questions, talk in circles, or answer your questions with other questions, that shows that they're hiding something. Some people are naturally shy, quiet, and private, but if you're going to be in a relationship with them, they need to open up. Love at first site. Yes, some people do fall in love at first site, but generally love is something that happens over time. Be wary if your date starts saying "I Love You" after meeting for the first time - or even worse, before even meeting! They're broke. Be wary of any person that immediately tells you that they're broke, just got "laid off" from work, or have been scammed financially in the past. They may be looking to "scam" you in the present. Asks for personal information. Be wary of anyone who asks for your personal information, such as your phone number or home address, very early on in your communications. It may not be a huge red flag, but it's important to be aware for your safety. You also want to be wary if they ask to meet in person right away. Take things slow and get to know them. Blind Date TipsPlan & Prepare. First impressions are important as we generally form an impression of a person within just minutes of meeting them. Blind dates are no different. Your first impressions sets the stage for the entire date, so be sure to prepare in advance! Preparing Yourself When it comes to appearances, select clothing that is appropriate for your date, such as casual for a movie or a little more dressy for a nice dinner date. Do not wear clothes that are too revealing, strange, or over the top. Get a fresh haircut or trim so that you look neat and well put together. You should also trim your nails (manicures and/or pedicures are always nice), shine your shoes, and/or iron your clothes, if needed. While this may be obvious, make sure that you shower, shave, and smell good. While a bit of cologne or perfume can be sexy, do not overdo it. Remember, you only have once chance at a first impression, so make it a good one! Plan Ahead, But Be Flexible Plan your evening ahead, but stay flexible so that you can easily change your plans if needed. If you've planned a night at a party, but realize that your date is more quiet and reserved, why not try a quiet dinner date? Who Pays If your date indicates that he is paying, it's up to you whether you take him up on that offer. Because this is your first meeting, you may want to make it clear from the start that you intend to pay for half of everything, that way you avoid feeling as if you owe him anything. Blind Date Safety. Blind dates can be fun and exciting, but remember that this is your first meeting. If you were set up by mutual friends, you may know a bit about the person and your friends may have an idea of your date plans. If not, you'll want to take a few extra precautions. Make sure that a friend knows where you will be and at what times, as well as the name of the person. Carry a cell phone with you at all times as a precaution. Another option is to make the first date a "double" date, so that you can have a friend join you. Where To Go (and what to do). The number one rule is to pick a public place. Not only is there safety in numbers, but you're likely to feel more relaxed and have fun when you're in a public place. For a blind date, you generally want to avoid the standard dinner date. If the date is not going well, you're stuck together for the entire meal. The same goes for movies and any other activity that generally lasts more than one hour. Keep the date short and simple because with shorter date plans, you can make a quick exit if you're not interested. If you are interested, you can stick around or arrange to meet up again in the future. You may also want to figure cost into the date factor. It's better to keep the date in the low-to-mid price range so that neither person feels pressure. This is especially important if one person is taking care of all of the date expenses. Whatever you decide, do something fun where you can have a good time and get to know each other. A few good options: Meet for coffee A dessert date in the evening Meet for lunch during the week Miniature golf Bowling Whatever you do, keep your activities comfortable, casual, and not over the top. A blind date is not the time to try new and exotic cuisines or to bungee jump. The First Meeting. Arrive a little early and offer a polite greeting and handshake when he/she arrives. Smile and be friendly, even if you are nervous. Men, be a gentleman and open doors, hang up her coat, pull out her chair, etc. Women, be polite and thank him if he does these things for you. Be Open Minded. Remember that this is a blind date. If you set your expectations too high, you will surely be disappointed. Secretly, we may all want good looking, highly intellectual, slapstick funny dates with an abundance of cash. That's not reality though. Stay open minded and free of high expectations for your date. This will allow you to relax and have a good time rather than setting yourself up for disappointment should the date not go well. Be Yourself. It's easier said than done, but relax, relax, relax. One of the biggest mistakes that people make on blind dates is trying to be someone that they aren't. Just be yourself. Do not feel pressure to wear heels if you normally wear sandals. If you feel more comfortable in jeans and a sweater, don't take her to a 5-start restaurant. During the date, answer questions honestly and talk candidly about yourself without exaggerating. Remember, your date wants to know who you are; not who you your date wants you to be. Making Conversation. Conversation is extremely important to the success of a blind date. Getting it started and keeping it going is essential. Think of a few general, light topics to bring up in the beginning. Ask about her family or his friends. Keep the conversation light, but really try to get to know them. Do: Ask about him. Ask about her family and friends. Ask about what he or she does for a living. Compliment your date. Ask about his or her interests and hobbies. Discuss music, film, food, and art. Talk about yourself (but not the entire time!) Show an interest in what he or she is saying. Stimulate the conversation with open-ended questions. Do Not: Discuss past relationships Talk in depth about topics that don't interest the other person. Speak badly about others. Say anything stupid, mean, or inconsiderate. Monopolize the conversation. Cross-examine your date. Ask close-ended questions that require only a 'yes' or 'no' answer. Body Language Also remember that first impressions are not just based on appearance, but on the way you communicate with your words, tone of voice, and body language as well. In fact, body language is actually the most important when it comes to communication. Don't focus on your body language so much that it feels forced because it will come across that way to your date as well. Relax and react appropriately. Keep your eyes on your date, not on yourself or others around you. If you're having a good time, give your date signs that you're enjoying their company. Things to Watch. While you should never go into a blind date with bad expectations, you should keep an eye out for a few 'warning signs'. He or she is wearing a wedding ring. He or she talks about past relationships throughout the date. He speaks badly about his mother or ex-girlfriends. He doesn't offer to pay (unless it was agreed to go dutch). He or she is rude to you directly. He or she treats the waiters rudely or doesn�t tip. He or she drinks a lot. He or she does not pay attention to you (i.e. they answer cell phone calls during the date, etc). Be aware of everything he or she says and how they say it. He or she displays any other disturbing, addictive, mentally ill, or criminal behavior. While there may be little things that you don't like about the person, such as their clothing or hygiene, it's the bigger things that you need to keep an eye out for. You do not want to end up with a self-absorbed, high-maintenance, or worse, an abusive person. Exit Strategy. In the even that a blind date isn't going well, be sure to have an exit plan in place. Have a friend on standby and a cell phone on hand at all times. If needed, excuse yourself to the bathroom and call your friend, having him/her call you back in 5 minutes informing you of an emergency for which you are needed. You may want to have your backup plan set ahead of time by arranging your friend to call 30 minutes into the date and use that as your out if needed. Another option would be tell inform him that you have plans an hour after the two of you are set to meet. If the date is going well, you can call and "cancel" these plans. If it's not going well, you have your out. Ending The Date. Saying goodbye at the end of a blind date has the potential to be very awkward. When the date is over, do what feels right. No matter what, you should remember to thank the other person. If your date went well, be sure to let them know that and mention that you'd really like to see them again. If it didn't go well, then you should not suggest or agree to meeting again, nor should you give your phone number or say you'll call them. This can string him/her along and create creates false hopes and impressions. It's generally better to be honest and upfront, but do it politely. If you don't want to see them again, say something like "I don't think we have a lot in common." Always be kind and make every effort to spare his or her feelings. Blind dates do not differ much from other first dates. With these ten tips, your blind date will hopefully turn into a second date! A Groom's Guide to Surviving EngagementCongratulations! You asked and she said yes. Now you're officially engaged and fully encompassed in the wedding planning process. The engagement period often leaves you feeling ready to head to Vegas to elope, but now is the time for patience, sensitivity, and romance. Yes, romance. Even though romance may not be on your mind, it's the one thing that will help you and your fiance get through this crazy engagement period even stronger than at the start of it.
December 21 What to say to telemarketersIf they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?" If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?" Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?" If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?" Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics." You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya." Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Ya! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)
|
|||||
|
|